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Review of Upload

Upload is the biggest production from Sex Z so far. Eli Cross directed this highly anticipated movie and he does not disappoint. I reviewed the uncensored directors cut which runs at a whopping 4 hours 45 minutes. Therefore I will not break down every scene as I normally would cause I do not wish to bore you. Needless to say if I did write out everything that occurs this review would go on for a long time. There is also a “XXX” version of the film that runs 15 minutes shorter. The directors cut obviously has some things that are not usually shown in American porn (read as fisting and pissing). So I will do a quick run through of the story and highlight a few of the more interesting sex scenes.

The Story

The story starts off with Cassandra, played by the lovely Eva Angelina, a security agent in the near future, being questioned by an internal investigator, played by the director Eli Cross, about her involvement in the upload of the Enigma file. Cassandra is confused and disoriented as well as addicted to illegal skin sims (sims are used by plugging them into your neck to be viewed). She tells him how she and her partner (Derrick Pierce) become involved with the hacker Tesla (Hillary Scott). It’s told through flash backs in between seeing her get interrogated. As the story progresses we learn more about Cassandra and her problems, what the Enigma is and why it is so important.

The Sex

With this movie being as long as it is, as I explained before, it would be insane to talk about each one. So here are some highlights. I will list the scenes by when they are featured on each disc.

Disc 1

Scene 1: Eva Angelina, Sandra Romain and Evan Stone

This first scene a threesome with Eva and two of her informants (Sandra Romain and Evan Stone). As many of you know Sandra is very good and crazy on screen so this scene has some great girl on girl stuff. Evan does his part as well by giving Eva her first on screen anal reaming.

Scene 2: Hillary Scott, Marco Banderas, Jenner, Brian Surewood, Tee Real and Alec Knight

This is the first sex scene featuring Hillary. In this Eva experiences this gangbang through Hillary‘s sexsim. The thing with gangbangs is that it’s hard to keep track of things cause there are so many people involved. Needless to say when Hillary is involved you can expect some very hard sex, including DP’s and plenty of anal. The scene is capped off by an anal creampie.

Scene 5: Eva Angelina

In scene 4 we see Hillary’s character get a brutal cavity search at the hands Flick Shagwell and Michelle Aston. After this we see Eva, at this point very turned on, go into a bathroom and proceeds to get herself off before pissing through her panties. This particular scene is cut short in the XXX version.

Scene 6: Adrianna Nicole, Lorelai Lee and Madison Young

This is a view at Eva’s favorite sim in which shows the woman that killed her partner.
Eva rubs herself as it shifts to a desert setting as we see the 3 ladies get each other off often. This features a lot of fisting and pissing as well. Obviously the fisting and pissing is cut out of XXX version. I’m a big fan of all girls scenes especially when they seem really into it.

Disc 2

Scene 2: Kylie Ireland, Delilah Strong and Derrick Pierce

This scene is cool for no other reason then it features Kylie Ireland and it was also show in black and white. The setup is that this is a fantasy scene of Derrick‘s, where he thinks about being a PI. Plenty of fisting in this one as well. Great to see Kylie on screen. Again XXX version is shorter.

Scene 4: Eva Angelina, Marsha Lord, Kayden Faye, Faye Runaway, Aiden Starr, Veronica Rayne, Carly Parker, Shannon Kelly, Julie Night, Mark Davies, Alex Sanders, Evan Stone, Christian, Tyler Knight, Sledgehammer, Alex Gonz and Justice Young

Now this as an orgy scene. Again a lot of stuff to keep track of here and I don’t even wanna start to try to. This is a fantasy scene of Eva’s in which she fantasizes about having in orgy in hell. This scene is very hot, literally, if you can focus. This scene also includes Eva’s first ever DP. Also there is a very cool double anal from Julie Night.

All together there are 12 sex scenes. This is truly a porn epic. If you liked Corruption you should definitely pick this up. Not saying there anything alike, cause they are not. This movie is just shot so beautifully you would think it was from Hollywood. Also as far as Sci-Fi porn goes this goes pretty much to the top. This movie is also in the widescreen format which I think is great for features.

Final Decision

Eli Cross has taken porn to the next level with Upload. I can’t wait to see what they come up with next year, assuming that this trend will continue with SexZ. As I said before you can’t really compare this to Corruption. Both movies are great but they are on different ends of the spectrum. The extras on this movie are great. There is an extra sex scene featuring Katja Kassin and Christian, Outtakes, the Upload lexicon, which is just a break down of all the terms used in the film. There is also some raw footage and a very funny “emergency cut” made by Kylie. Those are on disc 4, on disc 3 is all the behind the scene stuff. The only thing I didn’t like was the movie being on two discs. Obviously they had to do that because of the length but I just don’t like having to change discs in the middle. All in all this movie is great and I give it a 5 out of 5.

The Director's Cut box cover is pictured above. Both versions can be bought here

Posted: 11:02 AM, Sunday 9 December 2007 in DVD reviews

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Review of Not the Bradys XXX

X Play and Hustler join together in this hilarious parody of The Brady Bunch. Too be honest I’m kind of surprised that this hasn’t been done yet. Directed by Will Ryder and starring Hillary Scott, Aurora Snow and Leah Luv as the Brady girls Marcia, Jan and Cindy.

After some funny opening credits which parodies the famous Brady Bunch theme song, we find the girls talking about kissing boys in there room before they get called down to eat. Downstairs we see Mr. Brady and the Mrs. , played by Mike Horner and Alana Evans, talking in front of Alice (Lynn LeMay) about there financial problems. Aurora and Leah over hear this and they come in and ask if there is anything they can do to help out. They tell them not to worry about it. Later the girls talk in there room as the boys come in as well, played by Benjamin Brat, James Deen and Mikey Butders. They all decide that the two oldest will get jobs. Hillary ends up finding a job listing for figure models. Mikey finds the same ad. She goes down to check it out and she meets Lu Bricate (character name as well) and he ends up telling her that the job involves doing porn , a fact that escapes Hillary earlier. She wants to think about it and when she is walking around runs into her friend Katie (Veronique Vega). She does work there and on her way to the set they both see Sam the Butcher (Ron Jeremy) eating out a girl. Turns out he works there all the time.

Scene 1: Veronique Vega and Mikey Butders

Veronique introduces herself to him and notices that he is the youngest son from the Brady’s. Will Ryder, the director, makes a cameo here as the director of the porn being filmed. He calls action and they start kissing and doing foreplay. She then sucks him off before he eats her out as well. Sex starts out in missionary then into cowgirl. Doggie and reverse cowgirl follow these. Ending with a nice pop shot along the face.

After this Ron shows up at the Brady’s house to slip Lynn some “meat”. Hillary spots him and she freaks out a bit. After some more talking outside it switches to all the kids running a car wash at home. Mike, Alana and Lynn talk inside, talking about how innocent the kids aren’t. Lynn mentions this right before she dumps a box of toys she found in the girls’ room.

Scene 2: Leah Luv and Kurt Lockwood

Kurt is getting his car washed. He talks Leah into going into another room to tell her about how to make some real money. They go to the den and he offers her $200 to have sex with him. He trys to force his cock in her mouth but she stops him to take her rubber bands out. BJ starts followed up by Kurt eating her out. Sex starts out in reverse cowgirl then cowgirl. Missionary and doggie finish it out before another facial. Kurt isn’t one of my favorite performers so I didn’t like this scene as much.

The adults chat again, this time about Aurora lacking social skills. Lynn then comments that her boyfriend just came over and they went upstairs to practice those skills.

Scene 3: Aurora Snow and Tee Reel

This scene is actually outdoors. I guess they didn’t see them sneak out. Anyway he starts out by sucking her breasts in some foreplay before getting his pole sucked. He returns the favor by eating her out fast and hard before ramming her in missionary. All the sex positions flow together as they go to spoons then reverse cowgirl. Finishing in doggie before he blows his load on her face.

Later in the house Hillary tells Aurora about what the real deal with the modeling job, and that her boyfriends sister , Katie, is involved with it. She asks her to be a lookout as she practices by giving a large dildo a BJ. Paulina James then comes over to visit with James. After talking to Mike and Lynn she goes upstairs and finds that another girl (Jasmine Byrne) is there too. She climbs to the top bunk to show off her underwear then gets them both down so they can play a game.

Scene 4: Paulina James, Jasmine Byrne and James Deen

Both girls immediately start blowing him while he is standing and when he lays on floor. Jasmine then gets on top of him to ride in reverse cowgirl. Jasmine eats Paulina a bit in this position as well. After this Paulina gets rammed in cowgirl followed by Jasmine getting same. While Jasmine is in cowgirl Paulina climbs on top of her as the trade off getting his dick. Jasmine then gets picked up and gets his pole in that position. After some more sucking Jasmine then gets it one more time in doggie before James blows on both girls.

Sitting at the table the adults stare at the nude Polaroid that was taken of Hillary at the modeling thing. She calls and she tells them that it was taken at the YMCA when she didn’t know.

Scene 5: Alana Evans and Mike Horner

After Lynn leaves for bowling, they realize they are home alone. Starts off with some light foreplay before Mike goes down on her. Alana gives a nice BJ following this. Missionary is the first position followed by reverse cowgirl. Doggie finished it off before a nice facial on Alana. This scene is hot but really funny watching Alana get nailed in that Carol Brady hair do.

In the kitchen Hillary tells Benjamin about the porn thing. He is a bit apprehensive about it. James then comes in and throws a football which hits her in the face. Obviously a throw back to probably the most famous scene from that show.

Scene 6: Hillary Scott and Benjamin Brat

This is a dream sequence. Still in kitchen Hillary asks him if he wants to make a porno with her. He is shocked but eventually ends up in her room setting up his camera. Kissing and foreplay start it off before Hillary gives him a complete BJ. He then eats her out before giving her his meat stick in reverse cowgirl. Cowgirl and doggie follow this before he cums on her face. She starts moaning “No, No Greg” before the dreams ends and she wakes up in bed surrounded by everyone.

Final Decision:

This is a hilarious movie. You don’t even need to be a fan of the original series to enjoy this. It’s so cheesy that it’s great. With a running time over 2 hours it is definitely worth your dollar and I highly recommend it. 4.5 stars out of 5.

You can pick this title up at Nikki's Toy Box

Posted: 2:49 PM, Friday 30 November 2007 in DVD reviews

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Review of Upload

Review of Not the Bradys XXX